Brian Murphy: The 2022 Vikings are a decade’s worth of madness

Brian Murphy: The 2022 Vikings are a decade’s worth of madness

Let’s be clear before we begin our weekly purple therapy. Saturday’s win by the Vikings was not the Minneapolis Miracle 2.0.

It would be too convenient for you to compare the unparalleled experience that unfolded over four hours at US Bank Stadium.

Nothing is better than pulling a playoff loss from the crematorium and still living to see another day, as Case Keenum or Stefon Diggs did last year. It was not possible to make a historic comeback like Minnesota’s ridiculous 39-36 humiliation of the sad-sack Colts.

This was an outlier in the regular season of the bizarre.

You can’t go to hell without the lid off.

Linda Blair shook her fissured face like an oblique, spraying Beelzebub’s gaskets on the monsignor and her bedroom walls.

You don’t watch the 2022 Vikings week in and week out. They are something you endure. You feel both dreadful and amazed. Like elective surgery. Unless the cirrhosis has advanced.

Why should you take acid when you can go on weekends with a football team that isn’t sure where it’s going?

Surrender to the Void. It’s the only flag of white flying near this supposedly cursed, but suddenly sun-kissed franchise.

All season, I have been urging people to forget their analytical reasoning and just enjoy the ride. After watching Minnesota fall behind 33-0 at the halftime at home to the junior varsity Indianapolis, and rallying for the greatest come from-behind victory in the 122 year history of the NFL… you’re now on your own.

See you on the other side.

The NFC North champions are an incredible train wreck that will not stop moving. They are an anomaly at 11-3, defying the odds with enough folly to fuel a normal team, let alone a season.

Five weeks ago, Buffalo’s Vikings made water into wine by making an overtime comeback.

Justin Jefferson was able to climb a stairway up to heaven and reached the top with a fourth-down catch, which will be a highlight of his Canton induction. Josh Allen, one of the league’s most skilled quarterbacks, made a crucial fumble in his own end zone in order to save Minnesota in the final seconds of the fourth quarter.

It was all just cheap conversation when compared to what they did against the shellshocked Colts.

It’s not worth labeling this team or handicapping their postseason success. They are like Hollywood executives trying explain what makes a movie a success. Nobody knows everything.

Despite their fatal flaws that could doom even mere mortals, the Vikings remain the great un-dead. To kill them, you need more than sunlight, garlic, and a dagger to your heart.

Up until a turnover, sack, or three-and out are made, defense is a myth.

It is illegal to play four quarters of offense until Kirk Cousins locates a phone booth where he can change into Kirko Chainz, and then sling dart after dart.

It is illegal to play with the fans’ erratic emotions until the kumbaya drum circles brings everyone back thirsty and hungry for more jello shots.

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It’s not sustainable, of course. We’ve been saying it since September.

Their brutal 30-minute performance against Jeff Saturday “coach” Colts was the springboard the boobirds, armchair skeptics were looking for to escape the surrealism.

The Vikings had only three first downs and only 87 yards total offense, compared to Indy’s 12 & 209 yards, Matt Ryan’s tag notwithstanding.

Since Fredo in the boathouse, I haven’t seen anyone so sheepish since Fredo. I’m smart!”

Minnesota was poised to be the first team with 10 wins to either return to the playoffs or postseason. A gong show that is biblical in proportion.

Five touchdowns and 431 yards later, the Vikings held the No. 2 seed in the NFC playoff race.

As battle-scarred as the rest of us, and equally confused.

Patrick Peterson, a veteran cornerback, said, “This is crazy man; it is beyond belief.” He normally can’t speak because he is too comatose.

“It seems like nothing bothers me about this team. Our guys have incredible belief in each other. We will have to wait and see what others have to say about us.

They are saying a lot. They know winks and eye-rolling beverages. The mass-deleting Saturday night threatened to end Twitter faster than Elon Musk.

The Vikings could not be derailled by the whistle-happy third-year referee Tra Blake’s crew. Although it is an old cliché to complain about officiating, I cannot help but feel guilty for the missteps that cost Minnesota 12 points in scoops or scores.

NFL means Not For Long for Blake et al.

It is impossible to quantify the Vikings’ achievements and their methods. Their confidence is a suit that protects them from the butt-whippings of alpha males Philadelphia, Dallas gave earlier in the season.

Any jury can be convinced that the Vikings are guilty in impersonating a great football team.

A rematch with the Cowboys or Eagles in January would be disastrous due to their poor defense and untimely catatonic offensive. Or a match with the defensively dominant 49ers. Or the surging Lions.

However, it is important to not overlook the strength and scar tissue that allowed the Vikings overcome so much adversity.

Perhaps the fully-stocked teams are salivating at Minnesota’s chance to burst its bubble. Perhaps the bare-knuckled Vikings are hesitant about bringing a loaded gun into an emotional knife fight.

The Vikings are a powerful power line that can be arced in a tornado. Grab it now.

If you dare.

Related: After historic win, Kevin O’Connell chokes in locker room speech

Related: Watch: Pat McAfee learning the result of Vikings – Colts

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